Through many dangers, toils and snares I have already come...

The song 'Amazing grace' came to mind today and as I listened to the words 'Through many dangers, toils and snares I have already come...' stirred up so much emotion in my heart... 

I prayed to God and thanked Him for all He has already got me through! It made me think of all the times I have been trapped in a snare, or battling with toils and frightened by dangers...During this year I feel as though I have had many of these times and as I grappled with fear during my Sozo I know that every time God has been victorious in each and every one of those battles! 

These past 2 and a half months I have been walking with God on bright sunny paths...He has shown me His love, His promises, His goodness and His plans for my future. The path has been smooth and I have basked in His light! 

Yet now I must walk on a rougher path, a foggy one... with toils, snares and dangers... My feet stumble on this path and Satan tries to make me fall but God is holding my hand and helps me take one step at a time. Though my journey has been slowed by this change of weather God has prepared me and is ready to help me through! He tells me to hold onto His promises! He reminds that I have already come through many of these paths before and this path is only temporary! 

Through many dangers, toils and snares

I have already come! Yes Lord I have!!! 

Freedom...

On Friday afternoon at 2.00pm I went for my Sozo session at KLC. Before going I fasted from Facebook for a week. I chose Facebook to fast from because it can take up so much time and I wanted to give my time to God...

I love using Facebook because it gives me the opportunity to keep in contact with friends far and wide, friends who live in other countries, family in other countries but sometimes it can become subconsciously a little addictive! I have a tablet so going on Facebook is very quick and easy! On the first couple of days of the fast I found myself automatically pressing the app button for Facebook or typing it in on my laptop! I couldn't believe how much of a habit it had become! 

On day 3 of the fast I began to forget entirely about Facebook. I guess to begin with part of you feels as though you are missing out on something if you are not on it. Yet as time went on I became pretty content and only missed being able to contact friends. 

So Friday came round quickly and before I knew it I was stepping through the door to my Sozo. Two wonderful ladies Jan and Sue were ready and waiting for me! As I stepped into the room and sat down there was heavy feeling in the air and I could feel it pressing deeply into me. I had come in a little flustered and nervous but as I sat in the chair I felt as though everything disappeared. I knew I was in the presence of God. Perfect peace had filled me...

My Sozo lasted for 3 hours so I would be here for quite a while explaining everything but I really wanted to describe the moment for me that changed everything. 

Jan asked me to close my eyes and I bowed my head slightly. She asked me who I felt most comfortable with, Jesus or God and I said God. She asked me what I call Him by and I said 'Abba'. We began to go through a lot of stuff, particularly family things. We started off with my father and I forgave him for his rejection. 

After a little while Jan asked me if I could see God's face and I said 'No I see only darkness and the darkness feels like panic'. I had suddenly began to feel this panic rising up in me from deep down. I felt like God was drawing it up and dragging it out of me. This panic was fear. It came about that I was in a cage with this fear and it was surrounding me everywhere. With my eyes closed I had a vivid picture of me as a little girl pop up in my mind. I was a child and I was standing in this cage trapped by fear. 

Jan said 'Would you like Jesus to rescue you from this cage Polly?' and I said 'Yes'. Then another strong picture of Jesus outside the cage and he reached out and took my hand... Something burst within me...I could feel my eyes welling and I just starting uncontrollably crying... 

Bearing in mind that I never cry in front of anybody. I always like to keep all my emotions to myself. I was not the type of person to cry unless I was alone and I hadn't cried tears like this. I felt like finally something had been broken within me. The chains that had been holding me were gone... I am free...

Yet there was more in the cage..more to break.. Another picture came into my mind of Satan lurking in the very corner of the cage and I knew that he was personified as the Huntington's Disease. The greatest fear I carried. Jesus stepped into the cage and shone his light inside and it was empty... It was gone all the fear... I cried again! 

It wasn't until after all this that Jan told me that we had gone through the door of fear. God had led me through almost immediately. In Sozo there are 4 doors, the door of fear, the door of hatred/bitterness, the door of the occult and the door of sexual sin. I visited all these doors but the biggest that God helped me overcome was the door of fear! Praise the Lord for freeing me and giving me life again!